Don't let others Control
by Tom Brown
Do not allow other people to control you. Paul wrote, "You were
running a good race. Who cut in on you from obeying the truth?"
(Galatians 5:7). There could be no greater bondage than being under
someone's dominate control. People should respect authority—wife for
husband, employee for boss, parents for children—yet even those in
authority can abuse their God-given authority.
The only Person that has the
right to totally control you is God! No one else has that right. A
person loses their right to control you when they "cut in on you from
obeying the truth." Truth is a greater authority than any human
My earthly father was not a
believer and he did not want me to be a committed Christian and a
minister. He tried to dissuade me from my walk with God. I always showed
respect to him, but I would not allow him to dictate my walk with God.
God is always first!
Control is beneficial when it is
exercised by those in authority to benefit others. It becomes demonic
when a person dominates another's behavior to benefit their own personal
desires and security, without any consideration toward the person they
are controlling. Demonic control is selfish!
A good person who sees you
running the good race of faith will cheer you on. They will even be
inspired to run beside you. They will not try to trip you and jump in
front of you to slow you down. No! They are for you, not against you.
But controllers want to exercise
demonic control. Paul continued to write, "That kind of persuasion
does not come from the one who calls you" (v 8). Demonic control is
persuasive. There is nothing inheritably wrong with persuasion. As a
minister, I try to persuade people to accept Jesus Christ as Lord and
Savior. I will do my best to exercise this kind of persuasion. One
atheist told me, "You are very persuasive!" She said it in a way that
was meant to criticize me. Yet, God will anoint ministers to be
persuasive and to bring people to the gospel!
I am talking about demonic
persuasion that drives people away from the "one who calls you."
Professors in universities, even Christian universities, can have a
demonic ability to persuade people to reject Christianity and favor
atheism or secularism. This is demonic influence. It happens all too
Stand Firm in
There could be no greater demonic
control than when people exercise their control over you. Look at the
first verse of this chapter in Galatians, "It is for freedom that
Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be
burdened again by a yoke of slavery" (ch 5 v 1). Legal slavery has
been abolished, but illegal slavery still takes place when people rob
you of your freedom in Christ. The controller becomes a master. You
become the slave. They tell you how to live, who you can see, what you
can do. They have undue influence over your life.
Paul said, "Do not let
yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." It is ultimately
up to you to end the yoke of slavery. If people are manipulating you for
their selfish ends—I hate to say this—but it is your fault! Not that
you are to blamed for their demonic control, only that you are letting
it happened. Controllers are bullies. They will continue to bully you,
until you fight back.
You have to resist their control
over you. No one can resist it for you. Others can tell you the truth
how this person is stopping you from your God-given purpose and calling
in life, but only you can end the control!
There is no need to bemoan and
cry over their unfair treatment of you, "I don't understand why they
treat me this way? Why are they mean to me?" They treat you like trash
because you let them! There is no point in pretending that they will
change anytime soon. Any change on their part will come about by the
Lord dealing with them, and it helps when you and others quit eating the
garbage they deliver.
You don't break free from demonic
control by becoming a controller yourself. Here is what I mean. The
Bible teaches that you should "Give everyone what you owe him...if
respect, then respect; if honor, then honor" (Romans 13:7). You
don't break free by dishonoring the position people hold in your life.
You should always honor your parents. You should always revere your
pastor. You should always respect office holders. However, there is a
vast difference between respect and worship. Worship is reserved only
for God. Worship is unconditional surrender to serve. No human deserves
your "unconditional" obedience. Obedience is good, but never at the
expense of obeying God.
Satan tried to get Jesus to bow
down to him, but Jesus replied, "Away from me, Satan! For it is
written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'" (Matthew
4:10). Satan will indirectly try to get you to worship him by making you
bow down to his servants that try to control you. Jesus said, "Serve
God is the Maker. A potter has
the right to do with the pottery what he desires. God is the Potter. He
has the right, as your Maker, to do with you as He wants. God will not
use you as an ash tray if you live for Him. He will make you "an
instrument for noble purposes" (2 Timothy 2:21). While God will
dignify you with a noble purpose, controllers will humiliate you.
Do others humiliate you? Do they
do it to control you by making you feel unworthy to serve the Lord is a
dignified way? The Lord brings dignity to you. If a leaders does not
bring dignity to you, then something is desperately wrong!
If you let controllers put you
down, it could be that you have bowed down to them. That is why you feel
like a floor mat. Get up! Quit bowing down to them. You are
inadvertently worshipping them. You do not think you are, but you are if
you let them control you.
Now break free, not by being
disrespectful for the office they hold, but by refusing to let them
dictate your life. In some cases, you have to leave them! Of course,
children, no matter how old they get, should never abandon their parents
and vise versa. Spouses should not divorce unless they have biblical
grounds. There are friendships that people have entered into knowing
those are permanent, such as David and Jonathan. Also, there are undying
ministerial relationships. Now, not all friendships and ministerial
alliances are unending, yet the ones that are should bind people
together. You should not abandoned those permanent relationships without
Yet when people hold temporary
offices in your life, you are not bound to always stay with them. You
can leave! And in some cases, you should!
Characteristics of Controllers
Jesus was so concerned about His
own apostles misusing their authority that He gave them this
instruction. "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those
who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. But you
are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like
the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves" (Luke
Jesus used the phrase, "Lord
it over them." The word "Lord" was used by Jews to speak only of
God. Jesus was saying to His disciples, "Do not play God."
This reminds me to two boys
arguing as to which one was going to get the last pancake. The mother
stopped the boys from arguing, "Boys, what would Jesus do?" The oldest
boy looked at his young brother and said to him, "You play Jesus!"
People playing God is no laughing
matter. There are husbands who want to be god to their wives. Ah,
controllers are not always those in the office of authority, but
sometimes controllers are those who should submit to authority. Problems
in the home are not always the husband that tries to control, but
sometimes the wife.
Pastors can try to play god. But
sometimes members can, too.
Bosses can play god, but so can
My point is this, no one,
including those in offices and those under offices, should "lord"
anything over others. Only God has the right to be Lord!
Those that misuse their authority
"call themselves Benefactors." A Benefactor is someone who
bestows benefits to others. Jesus did not say they were Benefactors,
only that they call themselves by this title. I think by using this
title, Jesus was saying that they really do not benefit anyone. The only
beneficiaries are themselves. That is how you can tell a real leader
from a false one.
Real leaders lead for the benefit
of those following.
If a person is benefiting from
your relationship, yet you are losing from the relationship, then they
are a controller, not a good friend.
This is ultimately the sign of a
controller. Break from controlling people. Stop letting others control
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